30 March 2003

thoughts on my luv life.

Well. I don't know what to say at the moment. I have no real reason to update other than I'm in the mood.

Me and a friend think I have some interesting walls I put up between me and any potential dates/relationships... he, and to some extent I, thinks that I'm scared of being rejected... and that I don't think I'm good enough to be loved.. not exactly a self-esteem issue as much as.. something else... I'm also afraid that I'll fall for someone, and then they will discover another person they want more, so I set up barriers, and I run when someone tries to express their feelings to me.. even if the person is still behind one of the erected barriers... I have issues believing i'm a good person... need to learn to do that.. improve my situation and stuff.. not so much improving my situation as improving myself. I need to find my center, and figure out how to stay there. and as I told my friend.. one of these days, I'll do it. but not here, and not now.